Week 29: Breasts are boring. No, really…

28 weeks.

So yesterday’s 3-hour breastfeeding class was, um, Teh Suck. Sure, I learned a couple of things I hadn’t gleaned from books already, and we were able to ask a couple of other questions that were important to us, and it was nice to get to try out nursing holds with my trusty teddy bear, but all in all, it was a little like learning about nursing from your second grade teacher. Well, ok, not my second grade teacher, because Mrs. Smith was Da Bomb and I’m sure would totally have explained it in some awesome way (possibly involving Haiku, limericks, and goblins living in the closet), but certainly from someone else’s second grade teacher. (And some of the students, um, were a little second grade themselves – I guess we’re just old, but given that things were explained in such simple terms, I was a little surprised by the crisis of understanding displayed by a couple of people…)

I said in my last pregnancy post that poor Christian would be forced to listen to the least exciting discussion of breasts he’d ever encountered. Hell, it was the least exciting discussion of breasts I have ever encountered, and since I’ve got breasts and am not particularly excited by them, that’s saying something. The highlight of the event was probably getting to feel up the fake stuffed breasts to know what a clogged duct feels like; otherwise, it was a bit like spending the afternoon in one of those educational pedagogy courses where they try to demonstrate every technique possible to drive home the point that “different people learn differently”…

I understand that we’re both overeducated, and that this is part of the problem. I also have no problem with the fact that people need to learn, and am pleased that the hospital offers such a course so that those who haven’t had any exposure to breastfeeding information can get some – I just wish I could have that afternoon back.

Thing is, I know that no matter how much I read, I’m probably going to need some help, so I guess it’s time to start going to the local Mommy Milk and La Leche League meetings to get to know some people who know.

I really hope the childbirth classes are better than this was… Christian was bored 5 minutes in, and the only reason I know that is that I was so bored I was looking at him instead of the instructor